Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
