The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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