So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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