its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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