I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
