Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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