So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
