would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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