Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
