How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
