dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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