I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize