Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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