why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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