he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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