u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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