Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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