Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
