Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize