$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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