i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
