We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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