whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
