I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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