i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
