Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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