Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
