office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
