You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
