so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
