Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
