is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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