Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
