Where are you?
In a non slutty way
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize