Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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