If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
