I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
