U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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