I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
