So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
