Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The air taste purple.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
