Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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