ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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