Heybabeimwearingurpanties
North Korea, Best Korea!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have aggressive nipples.
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