community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this boner is exhausting
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
