Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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