After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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