"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
