I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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