Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
