I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
a search helicopter?!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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