I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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